Things you can't actually learn from animals

I’m fairly certain no one will ever love me as much as my...

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 22:13:48 -0500

I’m fairly certain no one will ever love me as much as my dog…

Okay so here’s another thing you CAN learn from animals: Always hold hands with someone...

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 11:43:16 -0500

Okay so here’s another thing you CAN learn from animals:

Always hold hands with someone while you sleep. It keeps you anchored so you don’t get lost in your dreams. And then you know they aren’t going anywhere either.

Reasons you can't get relationship advice from animals Vol. 2

Sun, 28 Nov 2010 23:17:00 -0500

Social Monogamy.

What is that you ask? For most birds, and some other things too, it means you pick yourself a mate, set up a nest and play house. Oh, and if you want a little tail on the side, that’s totally cool. I bet a lot of people think that sounds perfect.

But remember boys and girls, we call this cheating, and it is a good way to get castrated by some angry father.

What? I like giraffes!

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 22:54:08 -0400

What? I like giraffes!

How to Stop a Bullet

Sat, 16 Oct 2010 20:05:26 -0400

How to Stop a Bullet:

yourmindblown:

A species of spider in Africa builds 75-foot webs out of silk that is stronger than the material used in bulletproof vests.

Originally discovered in Madagascar in 2001, Darwin’s bark spider constructs webs that can span entire rivers! Its silk must be remarkably strong in order to bear the weight of its massive structures. Darwin’s bark spiders spin silk that is twice as strong as any other spider’s and TEN TIMES better than Kevlar, the substance used in bulletproof vests and bike frames)!

Its silk is not only the strongest known to man, but it is also the toughest biological material overall! Scientists believe that it is likely that there is even stronger silk out there that has yet to be found. (source)

The only problem with spider silk is, that it is also so elastic that it would stop the bullet on the other side of your body…

Blind dog has her own seeing eye dog. These two dogs are more...

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 17:57:08 -0400

Blind dog has her own seeing eye dog.

These two dogs are more than just best friends, they share a rare bond.

Ellie, a young cavalier King Charles spaniel in England, is almost completely blind. While her owner and a local animal organization are working to raise money for a vision-restoring operation, a German shepherd named Leo has taken matters into his own paws, and is protecting and guiding her.

“Ellie has cataracts on both eyes and is only aware of shadows,” explains Jean Spencer, manager of Rochdale’s Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, in an interview with the Manchester Evening News. “But Leo, who’s an absolutely massive dog, has become her eyes. It’s touching to watch them together. She follows him around and snuggles up to him.”

Ellie was part of a litter of five puppies rescued from harsh conditions by the RSPCA, says Julie Lander, an RSPCA volunteer and Leo and Ellie’s owner. “As well as having cataracts, Ellie’s eye muscles haven’t developed as they should have as she’d been kept in the dark. The puppies had no light or heating. I felt so sorry for her when she arrived, and knew she’d need a special home. But I also knew she would be all right with Leo, as he just loves little dogs and they took to one another straight away,” Lander tells the Manchester Evening News.

Lander goes on to explain how Leo’s almost 90 pounds of bulk helps keep his new charge safe. “I take them for walks in the park and Leo guides Ellie around. He is so protective and herds the more boisterous dogs away from her,” Julie says.

No one has commented on whether Leo can actually tell that Ellie is disabled or if he is caring for her based solely on her size. If Ellie’s problem is ever fixed, it will be interesting to see whether she will continue to share the same bond with Leo.

I’d call this something worth learning.

On a semi-related topic...

Sat, 11 Sep 2010 23:09:25 -0400

So, today I went birding for the first time. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it is basically just going out into the woods, marsh or any other naturey type spot and looking for birds.

Turns out, it is equally as boring as fishing. Except that where fishing becomes disgusting once you catch a fish and have to remove your hook from God knows where (for me it always seemed to be the eyeball); birding becomes exciting when you realize that black blob floating in the sky has a white head and is actually a bald eagle. But really most of your time is spent wandering around trying to locate birds from calls or staring through binoculars until you find something… or blind yourself by looking at a magnified version of the sun.

I think I’ll stick my bird-watching to the zoo, where I’m guaranteed to find exactly what I’m looking for.

Conflict Resolution

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 12:12:07 -0400

Have you ever had a coworker or classmate that just drives you around the bend? I have, and I hate that feeling of walking on eggshells in an attempt to avoid conflict with this person every time you see them. Its always even worse when no one else has the problem with them that you do. It makes you seem uncooperative. Now this is one of those times where I really wish I could take after any number of animals in dealing with my problems.

If I were a lion or tiger, I could just stare and make noise until the other person backed down. Better yet, if I were a rhino or an elephant then I could charge and spar if necessary, allowing me to beat the crap out of them AND get my way. And taking it to the most extreme, if I were a dolphin or a chimp; all I’d need to do is convince a few others and then we would just kill them.

Maybe the animal world isn’t so different after all….

Reasons you can't get relationship advice from animals Vol. 1

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:23:00 -0400

So in the recent past, I’ve been having troubles with my boyfriend, one bestfriend has started a new relationship, another has accepted that its time to move on from an old flame, and my third continues to ruin things before they even really get started; she’s indecisive to say the least. So this has gotten me thinking about love in general and why its something so exclusive to us. Needless to say this would be a post that would take me days to write and you hours to read, so I’m breaking it down into parts.

If you think about it, we are a very strange social creature. Monogamy is not a state we are programed for, none of our closest cousins do it. And yet a happy monogamous relationship is what we strive for. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being in a relationship with just one person, but I’m just saying we can’t expect it to always be easy. We’re not vultures, gibbons, or my personal favourites; shistosoma worms.

Mo·nog·a·my: noun -më\

A form of sexual bonding involving a permanent pair bond between two beings
archaic : the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime
the condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time

Now I realize that the third definition is the most used in modern society, but for the sake of argument, I’m going with definition number 1.

Imagine if you were bonded to the first person you had sex with ever. I’m sure that’s a scary thought for some people. It would make that drunken night with that ugly frat boy something to regret even more than it already is don’t you think. Also, I’m pretty sure swans and penguins don’t take into consideration snoring, awful jokes or an inability to cook anything other than KD when choosing their partner.

So no, I don’t think we can look to monogamous animals as a model, or a lot of us would be stuck with crappy life partners for sure.

But just for interests sake, here’s a little bit about the worlds most monogamous animal, the schistosoma worm.

They may not offer the conventional image of love, but these parasitic worms are usually far more faithful than the humans they inhabit. As unromantic as it sounds, they cause the disease schistosomiasis, also known as snail fever. When they reproduce sexually within the human body, they form loyal monogamous pair bonds that typically last the entire cycle.

-mnn.com

Things you CAN learn from animals.

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 09:27:58 -0400

Let me start by saying that I am your quintessential ‘animal person’. I study animals at school, I work with animals in the summer, and in my free time I like to watch and photograph them. I like animals more than people, so much so that there are 3 individuals that outrank my boyfriend in how much I love them.

Now like most ‘animal people’ would say; I’ve learned a lot from my animal friends. They’ve taught me many of the things I live by. For example:

Nothing beats an afternoon nap
Trust is earned through time and tasty snacks and if you break it, it will take even longer to rebuild
A simple touch is the clearest form of affection
Always ask for forgiveness, you’ll usually get it
A good herd is hard to come by, love and enjoy yours

Unfortunately, there are some things that you just can’t model after the animal kingdom, and that is really the point of this. To reason out the things in life that I have to figure out for myself.